The Mystery of Mystery Persists

This past week, the cell phone number of eyeliner-wearing, crushed velvet-hat clad Mystery, host of hit VH1 show "The Pick-Up Artist" was posted online. The ladies of Jezebel.com decided to give Mystery a ring. Among the topics discussed: Mystery's favorite rock gods, his sex life, and Scott Baio. Yes, Scott Baio.

Mr. Mystery -- real name Erik Von Markovik -- rambled on about why Scott Baio was "45 and single" as his hit VH1 show proclaims. "It's sort of the same thing as if I were to see Bea Arthur of "The Golden Girls" have sex. Why would I want to watch someone who has already gone through menopause go through that? It's biology. I'm evolutionally calibrated to not find that attractive." Say what? Maybe he's trying to "Neg" Baio.

He also waxed poetic on how hard it is to have a relationship, now that he's known worldwide as a lead lothario. "I've put myself in an interesting position where I have a lot of opportunities. And there are some people on this planet who we're spiritually connected to," he said. So that's what the kids are calling it these days, a "spiritual connection!"

And watch out L.A.-area ladies -- Mystery just relocated from Las Vegas to the Thirty Mile Zone. He's looking to have a spiritual connection with you.

Tags: erik von markovik, ErikVonMarkovik, mystery, pick up artist, PickUpArtist, vh1

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16. Who?

Posted at 8:33PM on Sep 16th 2007 by Nikk

17. This guy is so distgusting I wouldn't even give him the time day ! further more how does he even call himself a "self professed millionarie"?

Posted at 8:43PM on Sep 16th 2007 by Cail_dreamer

18. I absolutely love Mystery.. he's freaking hot. But my daughter and I laugh our asses off every week at the "skills" they are teaching these guys. I wouldn't fall for a damned thing that he puts out there. And his seminar costs close to $5,000 for platinum level seats. Whatever.

Go Joe D!

Posted at 10:35PM on Sep 17th 2007 by Mysty Maples

19. Can someone tell me what this guy actually does for a living?

Yeah, I saw him and his cronies demonstrating how to hit up chicks in a bar. I was unimpressed. It is really easy to thrill girls who struggle to rub two brain cells together, but if he had try to pull that crap on me, I would have told him to jog on as he was boring me to tears.

Posted at 12:26AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Stef

20. "This guy is such a creep that when I read this article on my computer I blew my rape whistle"

Yeah, that was a funny comment back when it was first used about 6 months ago on 15 other message boards (rolls eyes)

Posted at 12:55AM on Sep 17th 2007 by get some new jokes, Kim!

21. Phew, I thought something was wrong with me 'cause I found "mystery" to be more like "creepy". He looks dirty, that HAT!!, the plug in his chin, eyeliner, and his clothes.

The only reason I would look twice at him is to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

Yuck!

Posted at 1:29AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Denise

22. Thanks, "Mystery", but you can keep your spiritually transmitted diseases to yourself.

Douchebag.

Posted at 3:13AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Queen Elizabeth

23. #16, anybody can be a "self-professed" anything. That just means, "I am this because I said so."

I'm the self-professed Queen of England, for example. Prove me wrong!

That said, anybody who brags about being a millionaire, how many chicks he can bag, etc. is a desperate pathetic creep trying to spin his manipulative loserness into something that seems attractive to his fellow desperate losers.

Posted at 3:17AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Queen Elizabeth

24. The show is a spoof and the ridiculous fellow in the thrift-store hat is a playing along. Please tell me that's true. This cannot be serious.

Posted at 7:55AM on Sep 17th 2007 by todd lissner pro-parent pro-adult pro-wholesomeness activist!!(kadintodd2@aol.com)

25. I want to know how he got a hold of my dead grandmother's fur hat. Maybe OJ can get it back for me.

Posted at 8:53AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Rick_VT

26. If he came up to me in a bar or anywhere, I would laugh in his face. What a dumb-ass. Nail polish, eyeliner, goggles, paisley velvet coat? Pleeeeeeeeeze! Cornball!

Posted at 11:53AM on Sep 17th 2007 by KG

27. In his talk with Jezebelle, He says he can tell it was an area code 212 from Chicago. 212 is NOT a Chicago area code.. DUMBASS

Posted at 10:03AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Jennifer L

28. The first time I saw this guy I cracked up.....the goggles, the velvet hat, the voodoo doll he wore as a necklace on one show (which quickly disappeared lol), the eyeliner.......poor guy, has to use so many gimmicks to be attractive....

Posted at 10:17AM on Sep 17th 2007 by Orion

29. If some guy wearing eyeliner, black nail polish, a top hat, pirate shirt and goggles tried to pick me up in a bar I Would laugh hysterically. I just can not fathom why he wears those ridiculous goggles. Is he a WW1 fighter pilot? Does he plan on going skiing later? WTF are those things for? What purpose do they serve? They make him look stupid not sexy. He actually reminds me of that scene in Ace Ventura when Jim Carrey was wearing the tutu and trying to get admitted to the insane asylum.

Posted at 11:14AM on Sep 17th 2007 by ColinFarrelIisHot

30. I wouldn't date a guy who wears more makeup than me ! What a pathetic loser. This guy is not even attractive he looks like a freak . I agree with the 2 posters above I would laugh in his face .

Posted at 2:59PM on Sep 17th 2007 by Nichole

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