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Artie Lange: Coke? Booze? Lohan Should Be President!

Posted Jul 31st 2007 8:55AM by TMZ Staff

Screw rehab! Howard Stern's favorite right-hand boozehound, Artie Lange, thinks Lindsay Lohan should be hitting up the campaign trail! He might be on to something...

TMZ caught up with the self-appointed guru of addiction in Vegas at Beacher's Madhouse over the weekend, where he bestowed some invaluable advice on the DUI princess, including this little nugget; "Stay away from getting a bad line of coke that will make your heart explode." Sage.

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1. Wow he's mot from L.A. he's a Lardass fatsfood raised american ...GROSS

Posted at 9:12AM on Jul 31st 2007 by Danial

2. OH NOES HE MADE A RACIST COMMENT OH NOES

Posted at 9:13AM on Jul 31st 2007 by spy

3. Artie Lange is so sad. He shot up well over 100 lbs and I suspect will not be long for this world. Another dead fat comic like Chris Farley. I wonder after Atrie dies if those around him will be able to say they did enough to try to stop his slow suicide with drugs, food and booze? Artie -- please, man. Get clean and sober. Your killing yourself!

Posted at 9:13AM on Jul 31st 2007 by Ringer

4. I'm a fan of Artie Lange but count the days until diabetes, heart attack or stroke ends his life. I lost a work colleague yesterday who died of a stroke at age 36. Wish I was making it up but he really is gone and he was thinner than Lange. Artie needs to see that his Hawaiian Punch and cupcake breakfasts are equal to poison or cocaine as it is killing him. Food is meant to sustain a person with combinations of nutrients...not empty sugar, starch and fat calories. He can speculate on Fire Crotch all he wants...with the short amount of time he has left. It really pisses me off that the man has so much going for him and he is committing suicide and then all who loved him will be very sad. Quit being so selfish, Lange. Get a stomach surgery or something.

Posted at 10:43AM on Aug 1st 2007 by News Junkie

5. ARTIE RULES, BUT HE WILL BE DEAD IN A YEARS

Posted at 9:30AM on Jul 31st 2007 by NYCriminal

6. Artis is the effing man......waaaaaahhh im lindasy lohan and i screwed up....waaahhhhh.....GO ARTIE! BEER LEAGUE RULED!!!!!!! P.S. ralph is lame

Posted at 9:30AM on Jul 31st 2007 by Pink Taco Fist

7. Why post what this guy has to say? Kissing Stern's a*s*s for some reason?

OPR

Posted at 2:30PM on Jul 31st 2007 by Mike

8. Racist! Racist! Racist!,, Shame on you. Its okay to do drugs and drive drunk but just make sure when you have sex it's White???????????? Am I the only one out there that have a problem with this?

Posted at 10:35AM on Jul 31st 2007 by De

9. WHO IS THIS SLOB, AND WHY ISN'T HE BACK IN HIS TRAILER CAMP?

Posted at 10:37AM on Jul 31st 2007 by Brother Harold, S.J.

10. gummi bear?

Posted at 11:14AM on Jul 31st 2007 by celebrity.web.net

11. Artie, remember a butter drenched bagel will make your heart expload too! FIRRREE!!!!

Posted at 2:33PM on Jul 31st 2007 by Howard Stern Fan

12. Artie will be dead soon, Damn he looks so bad.

Posted at 11:24AM on Jul 31st 2007 by Who

13. Artie Lange Rules !!

Posted at 11:37AM on Jul 31st 2007 by rob

14. Who is this fat disgusting blowhard? He looks like a bloated New Jersey longshore man.