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A Whale of a Bear

Posted Dec 26th 2006 11:30AM by TMZ Staff

Last week, we gave you taut-tummied, bouncy-bosomed, bethonged and dethroned beauty queens in all their titillating glory. Today, we give you ... a beached Greasy Bear.

Oily heir Brandon Davis took to the sands of Maui on Christmas Eve, flopping down on a beach chair with a constant stream of cigarettes. (Nothing promotes health like baking in the sun while sucking on smokes.) We're not sure if that's a bathing suit or an oil slick.

The night before, Davis played with pal Paris Hilton before the lodging heiress hopped a plane for Australia, where she'll be hosting a New Year's Eve bash.

Tags: Brandon Davis, BrandonDavis

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1. Are those nicotine stains on his feet?

Posted at 12:08PM on Dec 26th 2006 by actionnews9!

2. He even has nicotine stains on his feet! For shame, Greasy Bear.

Posted at 12:08PM on Dec 26th 2006 by actionnews9!

3. Friggin' Disgusting!

Posted at 8:00PM on Dec 28th 2006 by weride88

4. Thanks, I was only in the middle of lunch.

Posted at 12:25PM on Dec 26th 2006 by Caroline

5. Why, oh why, do you even give this guy the time of day?? Why does TMZ do stories on this guy? He is not a celebrity. He only associates with a celebrity. Why is he newsworthy? So he called someone "firecrotch" that gets you on TMZ? Please stop the stupidity, please.

Posted at 12:26PM on Dec 26th 2006 by muffy

6. OMG I just puked from the ugliest site of a beached whale I have ever seen in my life time

Posted at 12:28PM on Dec 26th 2006 by looks nasty

7. While many may know about the windfall of money that will one day befall Brandon due to him and company from an oil fortune, what many do not know is that Brandon, and his brother were both actually grown in a laboratory.

Using the latest in genetic testing and splicing; geneticists were able to splice an oil molecule with a strand of DNA. It took many attempts mind you, and as a result, there were numerous failures prior to Brandon and brother. It would certainly be a stretch to call them success’ however the fact that the oil molecules and human DNA were able to remain cohesive was a big step.

In many ways it is almost inappropriate to call him “greasy” for one to be more accurate they would need to refer to him as just “grease” or as he is referred too in generic circles “Brandoil”

Posted at 12:45PM on Dec 26th 2006 by craig

8. I just threw up a little in my mouth....gross.....hahahahh

Posted at 8:21AM on Dec 28th 2006 by we hate BRANDOIL

9. ewwwww GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Posted at 9:21AM on Dec 27th 2006 by CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY:)

10. Dammit TMZ! I was eating!!!!!!!!

Posted at 1:18PM on Dec 26th 2006 by tony w

11. Fat bastard....bet his cig. butts are all over the beach
Someone needs to smack him

Posted at 1:48PM on Dec 26th 2006 by ann

12. How can someone so rich not afford to look better???

Posted at 7:46PM on Dec 26th 2006 by C.D.

13. Other than being the spoiled brat of a millionaire, does this pig do anything to benefit humanity? If not, I'd suggest his leaving it.